Emotional Bid

An emotional bid is when we do something to signal that we want attention and connection

Emotional bids are central to every kind of relationship – romantic, social and professional.

The Most Important Relationship Skill – Emotional Bids

Gottman refers to bids as “the fundamental unit of emotional communication.” Bids can be small or big, verbal or nonverbal. They’re requests to connect.

Bids are often purposely subtle because people are afraid to be vulnerable and put themselves out there. It’s scary to say, “Hey! I want to connect! Pay attention to me!” so instead, we ask a question or tell a story or offer our hand for connection. We hope we’ll receive connection in return, but if not, it’s less scary than pleading, “Connect with me, please!”

Want to Improve Your Relationship? Start Paying More Attention to Bids

Emotional bid… It’s the pixel of relationship communication.

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An emotional bid could be a variety of verbal or nonverbal behaviors one partner uses to gain the attention of the other. The other partner can respond by either acknowledging the bid (turning towards it), or ignoring it (turning away)

How Emotional Bids Impact Your Relationship | The Light Program

Emotional bids are the pixels of relationship communications and are important to relationship accommodations. They are at the heart of the Five Neurodivergent Love Languages.

Further reading,