Whānau : extended family, family group, a familiar term of address to a number of people – the primary economic unit of traditional Māori society. In the modern context the term is sometimes used to include friends who may not have any kinship ties to other members.

Whānau are not powered by adrenalin but by love and mutual care. Most Autists are not born into healthy Autistic whānau. 

Takiwātanga : Autistic ways of being, takiwātanga literally means “in their own space and time.” 

We have to co-create our whānau in our own space and time. In many indigenous cultures children with unique qualities are recognised, are given adult mentors with similarly unique qualities, and grow up to fulfil unique roles in their local community, connected to others with unique knowledge and insights, perhaps even in other communities. If we are embedded in an ecology of care, we can thrive and share the pain and the joy of life.

Whānau is much more than the Western notion of “family”. It is a deep connection, a bond that you are born into that no one can take away from you.

An Autistic whānau could be conceptualised as a soul tribe, it is not an amorphous global Autistic community, but rather a human scale ecology of care, consisting of Autistic relationships between soul mates that are bonded through shared experiences and working together. 

Closely related concepts: 

Whanaungatanga : relationship, kinship, sense of family connection – a relationship through shared experiences and working together which provides people with a sense of belonging. It develops as a result of kinship rights and obligations, which also serve to strengthen each member of the kin group. It also extends to others to whom one develops a close familial, friendship or reciprocal relationship.

Whakawhanaungatanga : process of establishing relationships, relating well to others.

Whakapapa : the “genealogical descent of all living things from God to the present time. “Since all living things including rocks and mountains are believed to possess whakapapa, it is further defined as “a basis for the organisation of knowledge in the respect of the creation and development of all things”. Hence, whakapapa also implies a deep connection to land and the roots of one’s ancestry. In order to trace one’s whakapapa it is essential to identify the location where one’s ancestral heritage began; “you can’t trace it back any further”. “Whakapapa links all people back to the land and sea and sky and outer universe, therefore, the obligations of whanaungatanga extend to the physical world and all being in it”.

In a healthy culture Autistic children are assisted in co-creating their unique Autistic whānau, but in our “civilisation” this cultural knowledge has been lost and is suppressed. In mainstream society people don’t understand how Autistic people support each other, love each other, and care for each other in ways that go far beyond the culturally impaired neuronormative imagination.

Autists depend on assistance from others in ways that differ from the cultural norm – and that is pathologised in hypernormative societies. However, the many ways in which non-autistic people depend on others is considered “normal”. The endless chains of trauma must be broken.

There is the saying that “It takes a village to raise a child.” The Autistic translation of this saying is “For an Autistic person it takes an Autistic whānau to feel loved and alive.”

The foundation of our whakapapa is the ocean and the mountains. Via Autistic trauma peer support we are embarking on the journey of co-creating healthy Autistic whānau and Autistic culture all over the world.

Depowered feral Autistic relationships | Autistic Collaboration

A NeurodiVenture is an inclusive non-hierarchical organisation operated by neurodivergent people that provides a safe and nurturing environment for divergent thinking, creativity, exploration, and collaborative niche construction.

In Te Reo Māori the NeurodiVenture concept translates to Neurodivergent whānau. Indigenous languages like Te Reo Māori have important words for concepts that have been suppressed by colonialism.

Without the support of an Autistic whānau, Autistic life feels like a life in continuous emergency mode.

Autistic people – The cultural immune system of human societies

Many Artistic & Autistic people are unemployable by organisations that operate hierarchical structures. There is an urgent need to catalyse and co-create NeurodiVentures (worker co-ops) and healthy A♾tistic whānau all over the world. A♾tists depend on assistance from others in ways that differ from the cultural norm – and that is pathologised in hypernormative societies. However, the many ways in which non-a♾tistic people depend on others is considered “normal”. The endless chains of trauma must be broken.

The ecological niche of A♾tistic peoples | Autistic Collaboration

The technologies we develop and use tend to reflect the level of collaboration and competitiveness within our culture. In our role as conscious designers of technology, humans have the potential to influence the level of collaboration in our culture in profound ways, especially in a highly networked digital world. 

The NeurodiVenture operating model not only raises neurodiversity as a top level concern for good company but by imposing a hard limit on group size (in the case of S23M enforced by our company constitution) it also ensures that every member of the team has spare cognitive capacity for building and maintaining trusted relationships with the outside world, whilst at the same time encouraging creative collaboration for life.

Organising for neurodivergent collaboration | Autistic Collaboration

Beyond eliminating formal hierarchical structures the NeurodiVenture model also removes all incentives for the emergence of informal “power-over” structures via transparency of all individual competency networks for the benefit of everyone within the company. This is perhaps the most radical idea within the NeurodiVenture model.

Transparency of individual competency networks enables meta knowledge (who has which knowledge and who entrusts whom with questions or needs in relation to specific domains of knowledge) to flow freely within an organisation.

The conceptualisation of meta knowledge flows via individual competency networks assists the coordination of activities via the advice process outlined above and via regular Open Space workshops, and it acts as an effective dampener on the informal hierarchies that can easily come to plague hierarchical and “non-hierarchical” organisations.

Organising for neurodivergent collaboration | Autistic Collaboration

NeurodiVentures are a concrete example of an emerging cultural species that provides safe and nurturing environments for divergent thinking, creativity, exploration, and collaborative niche construction.

NeurodiVentures are built on timeless and minimalistic principles for coordinating trusted collaboration that predate the emergence of civilisation. All members share a commitment to:

1. Visibly extend trust to people, to release the handbrake to collaboration. ​
2. Unlock the tacit knowledge within the group. ​
3. Provide a space for creative freedom. ​
4. Help repair frayed relationships.
5. ​​Replace fear with courage.

The Beauty of Collaboration at Human Scale: Timeless patterns of human limitations

At the level of small (human scale) groups, the NeurodiVenture model provides a set of first principles for creative collaboration that can be implemented in appropriate ways to accommodate local needs. The prosocial principles (Atkins et al., 2019) that are part of the NeurodiVenture model not only provide guidance for collaboration within the group, but also for collaboration with other groups, and thereby they pave the path for the development of collaborative bioregional networks of NeurodiVentures and other human scale groups.

The fact that human scale social operating systems can be constructed on top of corrupt infrastructure is a powerful message.

By focusing on the human scale outside the theatre we can reconnect with the physical and ecological niche that supports our human needs. The more collaborative, egalitarian, and accomodating of cultural diversity, the surrounding cultural environment becomes, the less NeurodiVentures will be perceived as unusual, and the more neurodivergent people will be able to spend significant time outside the protective islands of safety provided by a NeurodiVenture without getting overwhelmed.

The Beauty of Collaboration at Human Scale: Timeless patterns of human limitations

The open source NeurodiVenture operating model for employee owned companies primarily consists of a set of first principles that can be adapted to the unique needs of a specific team of neurodivergent people. There is no need to be prescriptive about how to go about forming and operating a NeurodiVenture, because there is no right way or best way.

Autistic people with complementary talents and skills are ideally positioned to jointly design, develop, and offer highly unique products and services, without any need for external capital, and without any need for an employer or manager.

The Beauty of Collaboration at Human Scale: Timeless patterns of human limitations

A NeurodiVenture offers the freedom to create products and services that do not necessitate continuous interaction with the neuronormative human social world.

The Beauty of Collaboration at Human Scale: Timeless patterns of human limitations

Today, many individuals find themselves navigating uncharted waters as they try to reconcile shaky relationships with blood relatives while simultaneously creating what’s commonly referred to as a “chosen family.”

According to the SAGE Encyclopedia of Marriage, Family, and Couples Counseling, “chosen families are nonbiological kinship bonds, whether legally recognized or not, deliberately chosen for the purpose of mutual support and love.” The term originated within the LGBTQ community and was used to describe early queer gatherings like the Harlem Drag Balls of the late nineteenth century.

The circumstances surrounding the birth of the first “chosen families”—intense loneliness and isolation faced by those rejected by their biological kin—continue today. Nearly 40 percent of today’s homeless youth identify as queer, and a recent study found that roughly 64 percent of LGBTQ baby boomers have built, and continue to rely on, chosen families.

“Chosen families,” though, can form as a result of any person’s experience with their biological family that leaves needs unmet. Friends who become your family of choice may provide you with a healthier family environment than the one in which you were raised, or their proximity may allow you to rely on them when your biological family isn’t located nearby. A chosen family can be part of a person’s growing network, and can help construct a wide foundation of support that continues to grow with time.

Finding Connection Through “Chosen Family” | Psychology Today

Here’s a heart-strumming rendition of “Chosen Family” from Rina Sawayama (starting at 8:29).

Tell me your story and I'll tell you mine
I'm all ears, take your time, we've got all night
Show me the rivers crossed, the mountains scaled
Show me who made you walk all the way here

Family of choice might seem like a contradiction but your ‘chosen’ family consists of those who accept you for who you are and they want the best for you. They support you in your chosen ventures, help you when you need to make decisions and tell you when you might be going down the wrong track! As in any other family, you might have your differences, but they are always there for you. If you can find yourself among a unit of supporters who love you unconditionally, will offer a place to you that allows you to be yourself, safely and without barriers, you might have found your ‘chosen’ family. This family might not be all in one place.

The Autistic Trans Guide to Life

There is something very special about forming relationships with people who understand and accept you for who you are. You may hear the phrase ‘chosen family’ used by LGBTQIA+ people to describe these relationships – people they have met, formed bonds with, and chosen to have as their family separately to their ‘real’ family.

Queerly Autistic: The Ultimate Guide For LGBTQIA+ Teens On The Spectrum

These types of relationships are especially important to LGBTQIA+ people. There is a long history of us being isolated from our ‘official’ family and friends due to our sexuality and gender, and so the idea of ‘found’ or ‘chosen’ family has a strong emotional meaning in the community. There are still people today whose family react badly to them coming out (as we discussed in the chapter on coming out), so relationships with other people in the LGBTQIA+ community are just as important as they ever were.

Even if your family is accepting and loving, relationships within the community can still be very important. They certainly have been for me.

Queerly Autistic: The Ultimate Guide For LGBTQIA+ Teens On The Spectrum

I will also say this: I have never, not even for one single second, regretted it. I have never regretted doing the right thing or fighting for the health and wholeness of others even when it causes me pain and puts me at significant personal risk. I have lost nothing that I needed, because I had it all inside me. And the people that have now become my precious, chosen family are people I would never have met if I hadn’t been walking this path.

#ChurchToo: How Purity Culture Upholds Abuse and How to Find Healing

“In my phone contacts, I put emojis by their names. I put strawberries next to people who were super loving. I put seedling emojis by folks who taught me things that made me think or grow.”

Within a year of his making these changes in his life, many of Samuel’s “strawberry people” had become members of his found family. They had his back as he worked through therapy for PTSD and eating disorder recovery. The strawberry people even became friends with one another—Samuel writes that they all talk in a single group chat.

Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity

I finally realized that I was a dyke and had been for years. Since then, I have lived among dykes and created chosen families and homes, not rooted in geography, but in shared passion, imagination, and values.

Exile and Pride: Disability, Queerness, and Liberation