Penguins pass pebbles to other penguins to show they care. Penguin Pebbling is a little exchange between two people to show that they care and want to build a meaningful connection. For autistic people, giving little gifts spontaneously can be a meaningful way of communicating that you are thinking about someone and that you care. We are not talking about spending money, rather it is about building connections through the friendship you have developed between you both.

This could look like finding a pretty pebble, twig, or flower, perhaps taking a photo on a walk you enjoyed together and sharing it with someone to say, ‘This reminded me of you today, I hope you like it.’ Navigating the complex world of communication and socialisation may feel too much at times and Penguin Pebbling is a small act to show you care, just because it is a nice thing to do!

Penguin Pebbling – An Autistic Love Language

Penguin Pebbling

It’s our way of saying, “I thought about you today. I remembered this thing about you. Here’s something I want to share with you specifically.”

Send a little “thinking of you” pebble. It helps.

@brainsandspoons

Header image: “Penguin Pebbling” by Betsy Selvam is licensed under CC BY-NC 4.0

Penguins give pebbles to other penguins to show that they care.

@brainsandspoons

Related Pages

Penguin pebbling describes a form of affection common in many neurodivergent relationships: sharing small things that matter, like links, memes, ideas, or objects.

Neurodivergent Communication

• Written Communication Is the Great Social Equalizer
• Asynchronous Communication
• Interaction Badges

Neurodivergent Relationships

• The Five Neurodivergent Love Languages
• Everyday Neurodivergent Realities

Participation & Collaboration

• Designing Flexible Participation
• Designing Intermittent Collaboration
• Inclusive Meetings

Explore the Ecosystem

• Browse Stimpunks by Need
• The Stimpunks Catalog
• The Neurodivergent Knowledge Garden

Further Reading