The Benevolence of Surrender: Connected, Trusting Relationships

I’m rewatching The Benevolence of Surrender, reflecting on Swamburger’s words:

Let’s make it personal.


You have to know the person, and that person has to believe in you.

Swamburger
The Benevolence of Surrender by Solillaquists of Sound

Here are related quotes on autistic ways of developing trust:

Autists conceptualise the world in terms of trusted relationships with unique people…

Source: The beauty of collaboration at human scale

…many autistic children reported flourishing at home both educationally and personally. For these children and families, we identified three key ingredients essential to this flourishing, including: (i) the importance of connected, trusting relationships (‘people’); (ii) the sensory and social safety of home (‘place’); and (iii) the flexibility to pace and structure learning to suit the individual child (‘time’).

Source: “It just fits my needs better”: Autistic students and parents’ experiences of learning from home during the early phase of the COVID-19 pandemic

The Autistic way of developing trust is based on experienced domain-specific competence. Autistic people:

(when young) assume everyone is telling the truth;

(when older) can become very cynical;

can be fooled by people who appear to be logical but who have no scruples fabricating evidence;

are slow in learning the cultural significance of social cues, and can’t reliably read social cues in an environment of sensory overload.

A common Autistic way of making friends

To construct trusted relationships and friendships, Autistic people apply an explicit goal oriented approach:

  1. Search for people with shared interests, usually online
  2. Confirm a shared area of interest
  3. Start having fun by openly sharing knowledge, personal experiences, and related gaps of knowledge and questions
  4. Explore what can be achieved with joint capabilities and capacities
  5. Embark on significant joint projects (examples) to have more fun

Source: A communal definition of Autistic ways of being | Autistic Collaboration

Mutual trust. Connected, trusting relationships. That’s how I operate. I default to trust. That need and tendency is wired in deeply.

It might seem naïve, but then again it’s just really honest.

Solillaquists of Sound – The Benevolence of Surrender

Solillaquists of Sound build community and culture. They’re an inspiration to Stimpunks.

Thank you for your patient timing

I’m in debt to you forever

Grateful to have with you grown

Every city really feels like a home

Live this truth so I hope it shows

Love you all it’s important to know

4 People by Solillaquists of Sound

The Listener’s Trilogy

Through 3 carefully crafted albums released over the last decade, the Solillaquists create a world of art, music, & philosophy to immerse the listener in and reveal the power they themselves hold.

Solillaquists of Sound – Second Subject
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Published by Ryan Boren

#ActuallyAutistic retired technologist turned wannabe-sociologist. Equity literate education, respectfully connected parenting, passion-based learning, indie ed-tech, neurodiversity, social model of disability, design for real life, inclusion, open web, open source. he/they

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